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The Lady of Spain's Twilight Drabbles: #1
nom de plume


The Lady of Spain’s Twilight Drabbles

By (who else?) Lady of Spain



The scibblings and dabblings from the insanely fertile mind of the exquisitely crazy Lady of Spain. Sadness, bliss, anger, stupidity, laughter, madness—it’s all right here—random thoughts in no way connected , or coherent in any way shape or form. If at one point in your reading, you think, “This makes no sense.” Then good!



Disclaimer: All characters are the property of S. Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.


Drabble 1: Lip Service 


The three pack buddies were having a philosophical discussion in the Taj Mahal—AKA—Jacob Black’s garage. Jake had his grease-smudged hands under the Rabbit’s hood as usual. He had just disconnected the cable from the negative terminal of the battery. He was getting ready to remove a worn alternator belt.


The question raised by Jake was: “Why do you suppose people kiss?”


Without lifting his head, he reached out his right hand. “Hey Embry, could you hand me the socket wrench that’s over there?”


Embry slid the wrench into his outstretched hand.


Quil was standing on the other side of the Rabbit, hunched over the engine like a mirror image of Jake. “Isn’t it obvious?” He snickered.


“No, it’s not!” Jake insisted. “I really want to know why?  For instance, what is it about kissing that—that’s all you can think about?”


“Among other things,” Quil added, suggestively.


“You know what I mean!


“This one’s too small; can you get me the wrench with the green handle, Embry? It’s in the toolbox under the drill bits”. He exchanged socket wrenches with his friend. “Yeah, I think this’ll do it.” He gave a satisfied grunt as the center bolt of the tensioner pulley slackened the pull on the belt for removal.


Jacob lifted his head slightly and craning his neck, peered over at his packmate with a questioning frown on his face. ”What do you say Embry?”


He always looked to Embry for the important matters. Embry prided himself for thinking with the head affixed to his shoulders.


“Oh, no . . . here it comes,” Quil complained. The Call discourse on the physiology of kissing. Ugh!”


“You want to hear this or not?” his quiet friend responded.




Jake glanced at his engine buddy. “Shut up, Quil. I wanna hear what he has to say. Let’s have it Embry!


“Damn, what is it with this alternator belt? It won’t budge.”


“Wait a minute Jake, there’s a strand of it is still coiled around this other pulley . . . can you see it . . .It’s way under there to your right.”


 “Okay, I got it . . . Go on Embry. Inquiring minds want to know.”


“Well, the surface of your lips have hundreds of tiny nerve endings that are connected to the pleasure centers of the brain. That’s lots more than in your finger tips.”


“Hmmn . . . interesting.”


“To who?” Quil taunted.


“Here Quil, make yourself useful. Put this belt into that box on the toolshelf.  I’m gonna take it back to Fork’s Motor Parts. I just replaced it three months ago; it shouldn’t have worn out that fast. Must’ve been defective.”


“Keep going, Embry, I’m listening.”


“Did you know that your mouth is part of your mucosal system—it’s highly sensitive. If you feel inside of your mouth, you’ll notice that it’s smooth and wet—not like the skin on the outside of your body. It’s in the same system as your reproductive organs.


 “Babies especially explore the world with their mouth. Everything—and I mean everything—goes in their mouth.”


Quil wiggled his eyebrows and gestured to his developed pecs. “Yeah, those lucky little suckers.”


“Can you get your mind out of the gutter for once, Quil. Jeez, there is more to the world than T&A.”


“Like what? Name one thing.”


“Cars, motorbikes, art, laughter, music, football, dancing, horseback riding, pizza.”


 “I said, one, Jake.”


Jake placed the new belt on the pulleys and turned the bolt the opposite direction.  He put down the socket wrench, replaced the battery cable and wiped his hands off on a nearby rag.


The door to the driver’s seat was open, so Jake plunked down on it with his feet stretched out in front of him, facing out into the garage.


Embry was seated on a crate; Jake leaned toward him and asked, “Anything else I need to know about kissing but was afraid to ask?”


“Yeah, so open mouth kissing . . .”


This time Quil pulled up another crate right beside his buddy. Now this topic interested him. His head tilted forward, his ears at attention.


“Now here’s the thing. When a guy gives a girl an open mouthed kiss, he is actually transferring the testosterone in his saliva to her, which in effect gets her aroused and ready for action.”


“Quil’s eyes got big as he gasped, “Really?”


“Yes, really. So you see guys, a kiss actually does have a purpose. It ensures the propagation of the species.”


“But that still doesn’t answer my question,” Jake asserted. “Why do people kiss?”


“Because it makes you feel sooo good!” Embry and Quil yelled it simultaneously, as they each threw a dirty rag in Jake’s direction.



A/N: Now go out and kiss someone, preferably someone you know. A random kiss might get you slapped instead—or maybe not!




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